Oy!

I'm really going to try and be a better blogger! I finally feel like the hazy fog might just be lifting around here. I'm still nauseous, but not as much. It seems to be reserving itself for later in the evenings. However, headaches and dizziness have taken up the day time slot. Oh well, comes with the territory.

We had another ultrasound a little over a week ago. It was part of the Nuchal Translucency test that tests for Down Syndrome. I like this test because a) Its non-invasive b) gives us information that was so incredibly helpful in the past and c) part of the test is an ultrasound. :) That's definitely a plus. Seeing the little peanut is always a smile-fest. Our ultrasound part of the test was great. Baby's nuchal measurement was 1.2 (Normal is between 1 and 2. Jonas' was 2.1 so, his was normal too) And I got the blood test results back as well (the blood test is what was REALLY a big indicator for Jonas) and they are normal too. Great news. Although I must say, another healthy baby with Down Syndrome would have been an amazing blessing and we would have been THRILLED!

I go back to the Dr. in a couple of weeks and then in Mid-December I have a level-2 ultrasound. I'm having that done since we have a child with DS and are choosing NOT to have an amnio. Its simply a more "in-depth" ultrasound. They look at each body part with more scrutiny. Specifically things like the heart and bowel. This is also when we should be able to find out the sex of the baby! An early Christmas present!

The kiddos are doing great. A few weeks ago we started home schooling Madelyn. Its going well. I anticipate it getting better as I start to feel better. But really, she's doing great. I already see a big difference in her attitude and we are having less struggle with Math too. Great progress in a few short weeks. God keeps confirming that this was the right thing to do.

Sam is awesome! He makes me smile. He's learned all kinds of new things he doesn't like to share with us. He has become quite the speller at school. The child flatly refuses to read or spell to me. I have to be a bit crafty/tricky with Sam. It's all in how you present it. I'm finding new ways to "trick" him into reading or spelling for me. Momma's have their ways, you know :) But this is nothing new for Sam. He's not one to flaunt his accomplishments. Little Stinker. Just today he asked me, "Mom, how do you spell pizza?" I said, "I don't know Sam. How DO you spell pizza?" Sam says, "Hmmmm.....P...I..ZZ...A! That spells Pizza!" Big hug and high fives and I did a little dance inside.

Titus, oh Titus. Kindergarten agrees with him. Aside from some trouble keeping his hands to himself and giving the teacher his undivided attention (Have you met my child?!) he's doing great. He is very excited about a big day coming up on Friday. His class is having a wedding ceremony to celebrate the union of "Mr. Q" and "Miss U". Each child gets to play a part in the wedding. One lucky girl gets to be Miss U and some poor little boy has to be Mr. Q and get "married" There's a maid of honor, best man, bridesmaids, groomsmen, mother and father of the bride and groom, etc...etc...But Titus wasn't chosen for any of these. My little heart was sad for him. But then Titus tell me, "MOM! You will NOT believe what I GET TO DO!!! My job is the BUBBLE BLOWER!!!!!" How silly of me. I was thinking like a girl. Of COURSE the best job for a little boy at a pretend wedding is to be the bubble blower. He can hardly wait. He doesn't have to lock arms with a "gale" (girl) he gets to be the cool kid blowing bubbles and goofing off. I'm so proud. We can hardly wait till Friday for the big day!

Jonas....is RUNNING!!! Well, not technically, but the kid gets around! We have some balance issues to work out but they don't slow him down. He just falls fast :) He loves to walk outside and he LOVES to use his walker to go "off road" he really does run through the grass if he has that walker. He's very strong too. We have a hard time redirecting him if he sets his mind to going one direction. I usually have to pick him up and move him somewhere else. He won't let me turn him around. He is picking up more and more signs. Asking for what he wants more and more. Of course he is still charming the ladies everywhere he goes. You just can't resist him.

Roger and I are doing well. This past Saturday, we( I use that terms loosely...mostly Roger. I was on the couch for most of the prep work) threw together a yard sale. We sold a few things and visited with the neighbors. It was a great day to be outside. Roger is still enjoying his job. Although, we wish it was a different shift. 2nd shift is really hard on family life. We are praying about it. Right now we are so thankful he has a JOB! Not really the time to be picky but the kids need more time with Dad. God knows that and we are just waiting on Him. I have lots of projects I am anxious to get back to. Many sewing projects have been put on hold while I have been riding the Nausea Express. I need to wrap those up. I'll have pink/blue baby projects to start working on soon!

Worry...why do I let myself worry?

I come from a long line of worriers. I come by it honestly. It's part of my nature. Its WHO I AM! Right? RIGHT?! Unfortunately God says that's all a bunch of hooey. But what if what I'm worrying about is REALLY important? Like say, how I feel right now? I am almost 11 weeks pregnant. (YAY!!) I also lost 2 babies around this time. (boo!) I'm supposed to be entering the "safe zone." Yet I've found my stomach in knots lately. Wondering "what if"? Now, I KNOW that there is nothing to be gained from worry. Luke 12:25-31 says:

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? "Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well."

So why do I worry? Why do I choose to sin in this way? I mean, lets call it what it is.... It's direct disobedience, that makes it sin. But it's a "little" one right? We ALL worry....right? So, it must be okay....I want to share an excerpt from this amazing book I've been reading. Crazy Love by Francis Chan.

"I used to believe that in this world there are two kinds of people: natural worriers and naturally joyful people. I couldn't really help it that I was the worrying kind. I am a problem solver, so I have to focus on things that need fixing. God can see that my intensity and anxiety are ministry related. I worry because I take His work seriously. Right? But then there's that perplexing command: "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" (Phil 4:4) You'll notice that it doesn't end with "....unless you are doing something extremely important." It follows with the charge, "Don't be anxious about anything" (v.6) When I'm consumed by my problems, I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God's command to always rejoice. In other words, that I have the "right" to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities."

Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives.

Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control.

Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it's okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek of arrogance. They declare our tendency to forget that we've been forgiven, that our lives here are brief, that we are headed to a place where we won't be lonely, afraid, or hurt ever again, and that in the context of God's strength, our problems are small, indeed."

Yeah....So God's been using Francis to kick my butt 10 ways from Tuesday. I've struggled here. I guess I am a "natural worrier". After all I'm a natural born sinner. But...BUT....I've been saved by Grace and I don't have to look the way I did before. I'm being transformed and I Rejoice in the transformation.

What do I have to worry about? God is still on the throne I'm still His child. What else matters? He holds my life,the life of my baby, my husband and our children in HIS hands. There is no better place to be. I'm trusting in HIM everyday.

Exhaustion, nausea and a photo!

There's been a whole lot going on around here....whole lot of nothin'! Nothing but feeling yucky. Which is a good thing! Good to feel puky when pregnant. I have to keep reminding myself of that. That's really about it. I've been hanging on the couch and neglecting all things domestic and you know what I've discovered.....I miss it. I really do. The laundry and toilet scrubbing not so much. But I miss the work of taking care of my family. I hate feeling useless and being exhausted and nauseous. But...The end is in sight! I'm 10 weeks now so we are on our way to the end of the 1st Trimester. Laundry and toilets await me :)

Speaking of the little bugger....Had an ultrasound today. If you look closely at this blurry photo, you can see little arms and tiny legs. We got to see our little jumping bean today. It was a good day!

To my Man

Happy Birthday sweetheart! I love you more than words can say. I'm am THRILLED to be on this ride called life with you. Can't wait to see what tomorrow holds. Love you always!

Without further ado

I'm pregnant. Yep. There, I said it. Its early. Yet here I am telling the world I'm preggo...again. We are due around the middle of May. I've gone over the pros and cons list of telling so early and the pros win. Really just 1 pro tipped the scale. This baby deserves to be celebrated. Each and EVERYDAY. Not when I have passed some magical, mystical marker that signifies the all-clear. I've lost enough babies to know there is no such thing. God alone is the author of all life and far be it for me to tell him I can't celebrate this blessing because it's too soon. Hogwash!

So....Surprise! Yay! Yes, we are excited. No, we weren't planning this. But God was. And His plan is the only one that matters. So, I know I probably thought of more clever and witty ways to tell many of you before, but come on.....this is the 9th time I've announced. If you don't like this one.....just recall one of the other 8 announcement and insert it into your mind. It's exciting. And yep, I'm scared. But.....BUT God is still in charge. I'm committing myself to being positive. Me worrying and fretting won't change anything. I have complete faith in my Heavenly Father. He really does have the whole world in His hands. Including me and my baby. It's funny, just last Thursday I had a little crying fit in bible study. I told the girls I really didn't know why I was crying except that I was just so....so...Full! Full to overflowing. God has been moving in my life and showing me how His divine providence is working all around me. I said that I was excited to see what God was going to do and that it kinda scared me cause maybe it meant there was a big change coming. No truer words were ever spoken. The next day I found out I was pregnant.

Jonas is cruising

Well, Jonas is OFFICIALLY cruising. We've been flirting with it for months, but I'm calling it now. He is actually interested in walking now. YAY!!! So...MAYBE he will be walking by Christmas. Let's pray. Anyway, here he is cruising along and playing with the cabinets. He's such a sweetie!

Jonas and the kitty are big pals. I love his little blue-jeans!

Hi mom! Here he is helping Daddy grill up some burgers...not really helping. Just being cute.
He is Daddy's boy.

Reflections....they aren't all they are cracked up to be

This thought has been taking up residence in my head for weeks. Time to blog it out. I found this nugget in a magazine that Roger started picking up each month from Church. The magazine is called "Homelife" and I STRONGLY recommend it. Great magazine. Anyway....the quote goes like this:

"Someone once said that all sin flows from the suspicion that God isn't good. If you don't trust God's intent to bring good things to your life, then you begin to think that His commands aren't in your best interest. That's when disobedience for the sake of convenience seems to make sense."

That's really what it boils down to. When I sin, I am basically saying that God's way isn't the right way. That He doesn't REALLY know what I need. He's not REALLY trying to mold me into His image. And He must not REALLY be good. Not really any other way to explain it.

This one hit me square between the eyes and I guess that's why I'm still chewing on it.